She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
