Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
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