i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
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