1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
