I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
