I murdered the dance floor call the cops
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
