Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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