Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
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