Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
