eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
There's always time for handjobs
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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