I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize