You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
