used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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