How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
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