I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
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