So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
