dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize