even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
