I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
