i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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