Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
