If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
