and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
