Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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