well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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