I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
