STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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