I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
