so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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