A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Randomize