Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
