...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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