even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
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