Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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