I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize