the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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