so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
