I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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