my mouth tastes like poor choices
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
So much Jack, so little girl.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
