R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
