You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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