too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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