My sheets look like a crime scene.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
