And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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