would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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