so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
