could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
