I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
