If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.