Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
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