You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
