She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
