i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
