Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
