It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize