Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
