Whod you bang
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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