I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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