Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
