We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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