So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
