Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
