Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
